Reasons My Cat Has Bitten Me

We all know Trilby around here, right?

I love my cat very much, but oh my god, she’s an asshole. This is me, catshaming. You know that blog, Reasons My Son Is Crying? This is going to be like that, but with one key difference. Note those fangs my bratty girl has going on there. Ow.

So. Here we go.

Reasons My Cat Has Bitten Me:

  1. I wouldn’t let her sit and stare creepily at Mina, my seventeen year old Maine Coon who just wants to nap in peace.

  2. I wouldn’t let her bite Mina.
  3. I wouldn’t let her eat Mina’s food, which Trilby doesn’t like anyway as it is tuna and she is weird.
  4. I wouldn’t let her taste my food.
  5. I did let her taste my food, but she hated it (you lick your butt, you have no room to judge anything I want to eat, cat).
  6. I wouldn’t let her abscond with my knitting.
  7. I was petting her.
  8. I wasn’t petting her.
  9. I was petting her, but she was tired of it.
  10. I wanted my iPhone charger, but she was sitting on it.
  11. I wanted my iPhone, but she was sitting on it.
  12. I moved my glass of milk out of her reach.
  13. She was sleeping in my lap and then she wasn’t and it was very ow.
  14. I picked her up and unceremoniously turfed her from my desk chair for the fifth time in an hour (this also got me a leg swipe).
  15. She was napping on my butt and I wanted to get up, how dare.
  16. I wanted to read the book she was sitting on.
  17. I wanted to edit the manuscript she was sitting on.

  18. I was watching a movie and there were Surprise Bagpipes.
  19. I was listening to the radio and there was a Very Long Surprise Violin Solo.
  20. I sneezed.
  21. I moved.
  22. I existed.

It is a good thing she isĀ incredibly cute.

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