Swampwater Debutante

Saturday marked my third dance class, and I was looking forward to it a great deal, despite my second class beating me nigh to death and leaving me too exhausted even to chew on my lunch – and it’s not like it was an especially complicated lunch, it was fish and brown rice.

I met my proper teacher last week, and she is a dynamo. She dances with the company and teaches, as near as I can tell, about fifty trillion classes a week. I like her very much despite the fact that I pay her money to kill me once a week and from what I’ve seen I am totally getting my money’s worth in death.

So I was looking forward to class on Saturday quite a lot. Enough that I dismissed the pain in my back as I got out of the shower. A pain that I knew full well indicated I had pinched a nerve.

It’s not bad, I told myself. I’ll get to class and stretch it out. No big deal.

So I got into the car for my half hour drive into Fort Worth. The pain steadily nagged and grew worse. I became steadily more determined to shake it off and deal with it. Ballerinas, I reasoned, deal with hammertoes, blisters, and toenails being torn off. They deal every day. I would get to class, stretch the thing that I’d convinced myself was a tight muscle, and it would be fine.

I got to the Academy just in time for my 2 PM class. I switched the car off, looped my purse straps over my left arm, and shoved the door open.

That is as far as I got.

I froze, the ball of one foot pressed to the ground in preparation to stand. Had my left arm not been holding the car door, it would have crumpled uselessly to my side, dropping my purse to the asphalt. My face was still stuck in a cocky grin.

My back felt like someone had stuffed ground glass between two of the muscles on the left side.

I just sort of sat and stared for over five minutes, stunned and immobilized by the horrible pain. And it kept getting worse by the second. I knew I had to get home, but the idea of that half hour drive suddenly sent tears pouring down my face.

Yeah. I’ve never experienced a physical pain this instantly incapacitating.

I got myself back into the car and began driving, but it became swiftly clear that I would not make it home. I stopped at a shopping center five minutes down the road, intending to take refuge in a bookstore until I could drive, breathe, and not cry.

I made the terrible mistake of stopping at World Market first. I sobbed as I heaved myself agonizingly out of the car. I screamed when I got back into it.

I was in the bookstore for two hours. It didn’t help much. I cried without ceasing the entire drive home, stopping once more to get an ice pack and some rapid release Tylenol. After half an hour in the car, I could barely walk.

I finally got home and spent the rest of the day in bed, flat on my back with a heating pad under me. I took the Tylenol and some Advil. The ice pack didn’t help as I thought it would, but it’s always useful to have one.

It took till Tuesday before I was able to hoop again. I’d had to use the heating pad and Tylenol fairly liberally the whole time. I’ve had pinched nerves before, but this was the worst, undoubtedly because of my stubborn stupidity.

So. That was fun. I guess I’ll try again this coming Saturday to go to class. Hopefully sans pinched nerve. It would be nice.