Swampwater Debutante

(I’ll get back to the list…eventually)

One of the very few good things my idiot ex did was show me a little cult movie called The Boondock Saints. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It involves guns.

I hadn’t watched it or paid any attention to anything to do with it in a very long while, mostly because it made me incredibly angry – it reminded me of him, and I hate him.

And then randomly I heard there was a sequel coming out. Oh ha ha, says I. That rumor has been making the rounds for years.

But no, returns whoever it was that was telling me the news. I think this time they actually got it made.

Impossible! I was incredulous. Didn’t Troy Duffy piss off everyone so much that they swore they’d never work with him again? A whole documentary was made showing him being pretty much the most epic douchebag alive, right?

I guess time heals all wounds.

I mean, it got made. Either he was a jerk and got forgiven or was never a jerk in the first place. Whatever, a sequel was filmed. And at first I was leery, but then I really really wanted to see it. I saw the trailer and ABSOLUTELY NEEDED TO SEE IT.

So I did! TWICE. And I want to see it more!

This is not a GREAT movie, not in the Academy of Motion Pictures sense. But if you are a fan of the original – and I did become one, all independent of my stupid ex-boyfriend – then it is indeed a great movie.

(it is a fucking awesome movie)

Oh sure. There’s too many overdone things – one character’s earplug quirk, the slo-mo bloodlettings, the meta references to the first movie – but it is an enjoyable two hours, oh yes it is.

Lots of folks are complaining that Sean Patrick Flanery has aged. Duh. It’s been ten years, and even in movie time it had been nearly that long, so aging makes sense. As far as I am concerned it is only improvement, anyway. I appreciated him in the first movie; this time, I wanted rather instantly to jump him. A lot. Over and over. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever been so voraciously attracted to a man over 40, and to be honest, I was shocked to find out he was 44. I would have guessed 38, tops. Don’t care. Yummy. Seriously hot.

Norman Reedus looks nearly the same as he did in the first movie, maybe a bit bulkier (not a bad thing at all, they were both on the smaller side then). If Wikipedia is to be believed he was in a car accident that required some facial reconstruction, so that might explain that, if it’s true. He could just have excellent DNA. Whatever the case, I did not object to admiring him, either. He has some amazing arms (I like arms – his arms quite specially) and killer line delivery.

And I would like to take this moment right fucking here to thank Troy Duffy for the incredible ladyfanservice displayed in the first fifteen minutes of the film. Assuming those weren’t body doubles – nice tushes, Sean and Norman. Very nice. Thank you too. Actually the whole rear view was nice, top to bottom. But I do NOT envy the makeup artist who had to draw on the new elaborate tattoos every day, not one little bit. that had to be a hell of a job.

There’s bits I didn’t like – the things i mentioned before, plus a dream sequence that seemed unusually hamfisted and much like a grandstanding speech Duffy’s been wanting to make for a while – but overall it was really pretty damn awesome, and not just because of momentary Irish vigilante butt.

Synopsis: The MacManus boys and Papa are living a peaceful life on an Irish sheep farm until someone in Boston whacks a priest and frames it to look like their work. Connor and Murphy immediately shed their shaggy sheepherder facades and slip into their old vigilante skins, heading home in a hurry to find out who did it and what they want. Along the way they’ll make new friends, encounter old ones, and shoot up a hell of a lot of people in ways both entertaining and horrifying.

(HA. that sounds so Lifetime Movie. It is NOT – for one thing, the violence in THIS movie made complete sense)

We also get a glimpse into Papa Mac’s shady past…which in the end is the whole point of everything, but I won’t say more than that.

I’ve never heard of Clifton Collins, but he made a colorful sidekick, different from David Della Rocco but more skillfully played. Billy Connolly was of course brilliant as Papa MacManus. And frankly, while over the top and more a caricature than a character, I LIKED Julie Benz as an FBI agent with two agendas.

The returning Boston detectives were a treat, as usual. I was glad to see so many returning characters…even the cat, a reappearance that caused the theater to burst into laughter both times I saw the movie.

If you liked the original, you’ll love this – I like it even better, frankly. If you like plain-talking, non-PC shoot’em ups with plenty of good one-liners, you’ll love it.

(The boys at their gun supplier –
Murphy: I feel like that kid in the movie with the chocolate factory…
Connor: YES. And I want an Oompa-Loompa NOW, Daddy, NOW.)

(I loved pretty much every quip in the movie, but then I’m a sucker for good one-liners. This movie was a bit better written than the first in that respect)

(and seriously, fuck political correctness right up the ass. it’s gotten out of control and I’m tired of it. that’s why I like these movies, because they think the same way – to hell with extreme self censorship. BE YOU…but, maybe don’t kill people, in your case)

I can’t WAIT for it to come out on DVD! And if it’s still around mid-December I’ll go see it again.

Oh. I’d like to state for the record that I am not the mouth-breathing jock type that all the critics seem to be saying is the only audience for the movie. I have tits, I knit socks – I even knit socks while watching the movie! – I bake cookies, I also enjoy French art-house films and I read Nabokov, motherfuckers, so the Boondock Saints movies can be said to have evidenced something of a universal appeal, no?