Swampwater Debutante

So remember Mr. Rock Star? The good-lookin’ fellow from South Carolina that I met through work and we had this torrid phone affair for a while and then you never heard about him again?

Yeeeee-aaaaah. Him!

He’d quit his job and had no mobile phone, so I couldn’t call him, and when my last message to him went unanswered, I shrugged and moved on. We’d had fun chatting with each other, it was nice that he found me attractive and vice versa, but oh well. La la la. Probably best to not get involved with a musician anyway, just to be careful. Yep.

Except he came back around last week when I started posting on Myspace that I was taking up guitar. And I guess he remembered that I was pretty, and rather nifty, and now here I was trying to learn guitar, so now I was Ultimate Sexy.

Me? I was pleased enough to hear from him again. He is after all good looking, has a sexy voice, I’m weak in the knees for musicians, and this one wanted to sleep with me. Well why not.

Yeah. That lasted a whole…oh, I don’t think even a week, honestly.

He is still good looking, and still wants to sleep with me, it is too bad he is a total and complete wingnut!

I had an inkling of this back in October, which is another reason why I wasn’t too awfully sorry to see him go. We had a conversation about the election, during which he ranted about how both choices sucked and he wasn’t going to vote. This bothered me, but, you know, to each their own. I warned him I didn’t want to hear it when he was not happy about the results, and he promised me – not a word. I didn’t give two pips if he was Republican or Democrat, as long as he wasn’t an extremist to either end. The extremists are the ones you have to worry about.

Well, I guess in the intervening few months he has swallowed the Fox News party line hook line and sinker and then followed it up with a good stiff American Jihad chaser. I can’t even think of another reason why he suddenly veered off in the middle of us arranging his trip down here and…wow. That was an abrupt and painful sharp right-hand turn into CRAZYTOWN.

This is a man who hates, HATES, the President. I can’t even read the entire email without feeling a little ill. I’m pretty sure that even if I were a Republican this would sit very wrong with me. No, I won’t post it, I can’t even excerpt it without just boggling. It is a nasty, nasty email. It is every misheard allegation magnified and distorted and spewed with hate. Needless to say, no sources were cited and I cannot find backup for half the crap in the mail.

I do not agree with everything President Obama does, I do not believe he is the Second Coming, and there have been some significant missteps in the early days of this Presidency, as ANY new President would have. There have been some wince moments…but I do believe he is going to work his hardest to fix as much as he can. It is all I asked of him, myself, just to make some kind of headway to get us out of this mess that Bush left.

And I don’t like Bush! At all! I really don’t! But the worst I think I ever called for was his impeachment.

For our new President, this is what Mr. Crazy had to say:

“I say to hell with impeachment……its time for an execution! I remember the good ole days, the revolutionary days, when if a man was a traitor to his country, he was branded as such publicly and hung for being A TRAITOR! Now that will be a government bill I will GLADLY GIVE my tax dollars towards, the construction of the gallows and the purchase of the rope and the services of the noose maker, and the hang man for THE EXECUTION OF A TRAITOR TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!”

*blinkblink*

*facepalm*

The immediate following paragraph was the icing on the cake though. It really was.

” Ok….now I feel slightly better. Thank you baby, and I hope I didn’t offend you.
Well, I forgot what else I was going to say, so I will talk to you later. By the way, you gonna give me your phone number again or do I have to beg?”

Really. Sometimes you just have got to laugh. Hysterically.

And then you block them and thank goodness they never got your full name or address, and that they lost your phone number.

Oh! And after that you wish you could send the email to Failblog.org but you DO send it to your buddy Gawain so that he can read it aloud and remix it into a techno song. I’ll post that as soon as I have it!